Harley Quinn: What the Heck   

                   is Happening to Ya?

Harley Quinn: Why are they trying to change your look?

   Unlike several people on this planet, I’m cool with clowns. The wigs, the noses, the makeup, the goofy outfits. they're all fine with me. Female clowns (white face preferably) are my favorite. One of my most cherished female clowns (from about the age of six) is Harley Quinn. That’s right! The Joker’s main squeeze. Yeah she's crazy. Sure she's bubbly. But that's what makes her so great! Not to mention the fact that she is drop dead gorgeous. 

   I always admired the original Batman: The Animated Series Harley Quinn. Her beautiful curvaceous figure. Her skintight jester ad. The black mask over her blue eyes. That pretty white face. Those big old black glossy lips. My goodness! Ladies, get off the runway! Harley’s coming down. Okay! Maybe I‘m going overboard. But man was she alluring!

   Not only was her body pleasing. Harley was vivacious. And whether she was putting in work for “Mista J” or performing her own misdeeds, Harley always had a big smile and an innocent sense of humor. Which brings us to the familiar saying. If it aint broke, don’t fix it! Why? Despite the obvious reason, if you try to fix something that isn't broke, you can possibly break it and make it worse! Case in point, the various transformations of Harley Quinn. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And although other developers attempt to create a better or different Harleys, none of them has hit the note that the original has. She’s gone from looking like a graceful, charming, pulchritudinous harlequin jester to (in my opinion) a disgusting, revolting, drug addicted streetwalker.

   In recent years, we've received several portrayals of Harley. Ergo, I will address the ones that stands out to me the most. Stemming from her best incarnations, to her worst. So let us begin, shall we.

Hands Down: the Best!

The Beautiful, Sexy, Mischievous. Miss Harley Quinn! The way I like her!

   This is it! Harley in all of her luminous glory. Big seductive smile! Skin tight jester uniform. Gorgeous curvaceous figure. (Sigh!). The original Harley Quinn. This version first hit the scene in Batman: The Animated Series, making her first appearance in the episode “Joker's Favor.” Although she was only meant to play a small role within this particular episode, Harley Quinn became a huge fan favorite and the Joker’s top henchwoman. Moreover, becoming a regular adversary within the Batman universe.

   I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but her charm and beauty is what stoked my attention. Which is why I don’t have close to a clue as to why they just couldn't leave well enough alone. Granted, there are some cute portrayals in her future manifestations. However, none of them hit the note like the original.

Hello Nurse Harley!

Every nurse should dress like this!

    Along with sporting a cool design, this Harley Quinn is pretty hot. The portrayal of Harley Quinn as a nurse in Arkham Asylum is pretty clever. (Especially after hearing stories about how several asylum nurses and staff are abusive to the patients). Despite her drastic change, several of her original aspects stayed the same. She still retains her silly quirky personality. Her white face and the mask over her eyes is still apparent (although I don’t care for several alteration of her facial features). And her sultry body continue to stir me.

   Again, Harley’s new design add some cleverness to the clownish look of the character. The purple and red covering a good portion of her outfit, as well as her platform boots stands out the most to me. However, the downfall is that she doesn't really look like a harlequin. (Which is what her name is supposed to suggest.) When all said and done, that’s what we should get. To be honest, I don't think it would have been difficult to create a harlequin style nurse uniform. But compared to several of her other renditions on the list, she’s definitely worth mentioning as one of the best.

A Little Whale Tail Anyone?

What a tease!

   I have to admit, when I played through the story line of Injustice: Gods Among Us, I thought to myself, “this is one of the best depictions of Harley Quinn.” We are given a classic yet fresher look. First, she is given a tight motorcycle type outfit. In addition, she's topped with a white beat up tank top that has an image reminiscence of the joker promo to the Dark Knight. And yes, she does have a nice whale tale!

A combination of both the old and the new.

   Although there are several changes to her outfit, she kept her white and black make up that we all love (or at least I do) and her cool blonde pigtails. In addition, she keeps red and black on her outfit. It isn't as creative as “Nurse Harley.” On the other hand, it has more Harley Quinn features. Again, I think some of her facial features are underdone and aren't as perky. Not to mention, this outfit lacks the harlequin look too. Maybe they could have given her a jester hat or something. But, None the less, it's still has a cute design. Unlike her original look they gave her (but we‘ll get into that a little later).

On one side you have a red pigtail… On the other a blue!

She looks more vampiric than clownish !

  This is where things start to go down hill for me. Needless to say, the New 52 Harley Quinn is a drastic change from the previous ones that I have on the list. And to me, the most plane. Only a few things about this renditions of Harley really satisfy me. For one, I like the comma like shape over her eyes. As well as, the ruffle collar around her neck! Also, having one pigtail blue and and the other red was kind of neat.

   But that’s not good enough to carry her over the hump. It seems the designers went for quantity instead of quality. I guess they thought more skin and cleavage was their best bet. I’m here to say “They were wrong!” Instead of giving her a cute clownish or sexy harlequin outfit, she’s given a smuttier gunslinger girl design. 

   Which points out my biggest problem with her design: She rarely retains any clownish features. She's given up much of her jester appearance, and has adopted a more ghoulish or vampiric look. Don’t get me wrong! I don't mind seeing Harley in a corset if it was done right. But it needs to be done right! Granted, it's colorful and goes with the rest of her look, but that not good enough. She‘s still pretty bland. 

   What made Harley Quinn work so well is her congruency to the Joker. Although she had psychopathic tendencies, she was softer and to an extent nicer. Not to mention, she had a clown like appearance that was all her own. Like I stated earlier, with the exception of certain things that I have pointed out, (which is also the most clownish part of her) Harley’s New 52 look scarcely has anything to do with a harlequin jester. By the way! That ridiculous cape doesn't help.

Out of the Asylum and into the City

Now you're not even trying!

   I’m not going to lie to you. I never liked this design because there's nothing memorable about her. I understand that Arkham City is this beat down, gritty, dirty environment. Got it! But there's nothing clownish or remotely recognizable about her look. Was it so hard to make her a little clowny. A goofy nose or a painted clown muzzle around her mouth. A silly hat. Something!? The only thing resembling Harley Quinn are her colors and pigtails. I guess the creators thought covering her face with a slight shade of white mascara, smeared eye shadow, and red lipstick would look more clownish. Sorry but, it doesn't. Not to mention, her face is not very pretty. Why didn't they keep her look from the previous game? Especially given the fact that the Joker is sick. It would make sense for him to have nurse Harley sitting on his lap.

   Fine! Have a grimier, biker version of Harley. But if you do, make her more like the Injustice insurgency outfit that I mentioned earlier. This is how she looks without her outfit, (because she's not wearing it of course) which takes away from her character. Because the add is, in my opinion, 75% of her. The way they butchered her is the equivalent of having a Batman with no cape and cowl. And instead of having a bat suit, he wears a bullet proof vest, a pair of black jeans, and a baseball cap with a bat symbol on it. People would freak.     

   There’s nothing pleasing out about this Harley to me. I reiterate, Arkham City’s Harley Quinn is a pretty lazy, unappealing design. I've seen cosplay girls make this design look better. She is a far far cry from her cool and original look, if you ask me. It's sad, because in the game the Joker is the one dying. However, Harley looks worse than he does!

Nice Ad! And...That's about it!

Is this supposed to be Harley!?

   To be honest, this is one of the best Harley Quinn outfits that I have seen. There's a  genuine feminine harlequin look. It’s subtle, but sexy. Not to mention, the brilliant use of colors and designs in her outfit is a refreshing take on her. Another thing that I like is her hair. It reminds me of one of the only good things I find to come out the New 52 Harley Quinn design. 

   So you’re probably wondering why she’s at the bottom of the list. Well, how do I put it?… She’s ugly! Hideous! This Harley Quinn looks like a dirty, smelly, disgusting, crack whore! Although she’s wearing the white face pain and the mask, her facial structure is so unattractive.

Nice hammer though Harley! Even if you are ugly!

    They should have used the face of the insurgency Harley (check out the segment, A Little Whale Tail Anyone? above) for both the insurgency and her original outfit. Even though she has several of her old characteristics (such as poking out her tongue, using a big hammer, making silly remarks) I can’t get past her physique. The could have given her some more curves or something. Like I said, her physical appearance, is what matters most to me! Whoever thought she was attractive in this game needs a reality check. I think the creators just sat down and lazily picked the first design they made. The reason I say this? A lot of the concept art was more inspiring and attractive than this model. I'm so disillusioned 

Time to Wrap it Up Folks!

   Needless to say, Harley’s been receiving very poor makeovers in recent years. For some reason, people think that their designs are better than Paul Dini’s and Bruce Timm’s. Here’s a bit of news for ya! It’s not. So stop trying, okay! I understand that some things in life need improvement. But Harley isn't one of them. I just hope that in the future we get a better looking Harleen Quinzel or revert back to the old her. 

Mm, those plump luscious lips! Give her a kiss Puddin'!

   I’m mean, doesn't Harley look so sweet in this picture. If Joker wasn't standing there, I’d give those big black succulent lips a big wet kiss. Please change her back! We need our old Harley. You can't beat the best. And if you haven't figured it out yet, Batman: The Animated Series Harley Quinn is the best. Yes, the nurse version is sexy. The insurgency Harley is gorgeous. However, the bottom line is that The Animated Series Harley is number one. 

   Lastly, if anyone’s reading this post, who do you think would make a good Harley Quinn in a live action movie or television show besides Kristen Bell? My pics are Lindy Booth, Viva Bianca, Minka Kelly, or Arielle Kebbel. 

And if you like what you've read, please leave a comment, or two, or three, or however many you like! Thank You!